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Community Mediation: Empowerment and Dialogue

 

In many communities around the country there are community mediation centers supported by volunteer mediators.  Community Boards of San Francisco is the oldest community mediation center in the country, started in 1976.  The philosophy of community mediation centers is to empower community members to resolve their own disputes rather than resorting to courts or other outsiders to do it for them. Participants in mediation have found that the process helps them feel heard, and increases their understanding of themselves and the other person as well.  Community Boards has handled thousands of cases in its 36 year history, and has helped 85% of those who use their mediation services reach a successful agreement.

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Get Out of MY Parking Spot! What to do when you get triggered?

Photo provided by Lou Gieszl

12615575_10153440751018562_1398132397776142577_oIt has been over a week since we experienced record-breaking snowfalls. Blizzard Jonas left a lasting mark as clean-up crews continue to plow and remove over 20 inches of snow from the streets of Baltimore City where I reside. Even as an adult, I still get excited when I hear snow is in the forecast. But that excitement is short-lived because once the snow has finished falling, I along with everyone else, have to deal with the aftermath of shoveling out and potentially hazardous roadways and sidewalks from melted ice. The potential for conflict to arise is everywhere.

An interesting conflict the occurs during snowfalls in Baltimore City is over parking spots. Thursday night before the storm commenced, residents began placing folding chairs and other miscellaneous furniture outside to reserve the spaces in front of their houses. I belong to my community’s Facebook group and people quickly began posting pictures, ranting and debating about whether this is acceptable or unacceptable behavior. What I found intriguing about these discussions is how fast they escalated into aggressive responses like, ” I will slash your tires if I see you removed my chairs and took my spot.” Those angered by these comments countered with, “The street is public property, you don’t own the space.” Many of these discussions became so heated that the administrators of the group deleted posts and called for a ceasefire.

Last week on our Conflict Chat program Pattie Porter, Zena Zumeta and I discussed how incidents such as disputing over a parking space or becoming irritated in traffic can trigger us into a protective mode. Pattie then posed the question, “What are we protecting when we get defensive?”

We spoke on-air about how those who have shoveled themselves out may feel protective of that parking space because of all the hard-work, time, and energy they used. When someone swoops in and takes something of value to you, such as a parking space, it could trigger you to become defensive because you want to protect what you see as yours. We challenged listeners to be more self-aware in these situations. You can do this by asking yourself when you’re feeling defensive, what is triggering me to feel this way? What am I protecting? What is of value to me in this situation?

Luckily, I was not one of those people fighting for a parking space. However, I did find myself in morning traffic leaving the city last week, and I was running late to work. I was getting antsy as the first car in the lane I was in appeared not to be paying attention when the light turned green and after a few short moments other cars and myself were pressing our car horns. It was as if the car horns woke me up and I recalled the conflict chat with Pattie and Zena. I then decided to put talk into practice.

I asked myself three questions, and by answering them, I became more self-aware of my emotions, and I was able to gain a better understanding of myself and the situation.

  1. What is triggering me to feel this way? I was running late, and I was nervous I wouldn’t make it on time to work. I was also angry with myself for leaving later than I should have.
  2. What am I protecting? When I beeped my car horn at the car in front of me, I was protecting the rules of the road.

3. What is value or need in this situation? My time, reputation, and professionalism were of value to me                 in this situation. I did not want to show up late to work and risk being unprofessional and perhaps damaging             my reputation.

Next time you find yourself triggered by anger or becoming defensive ask yourself these three questions which can assist you in becoming more self-aware.

Be sure to check out our Conflict Chat program here:

 

Abigail R. C. McManus M.S Negotiation and Conflict Management

Apprentice

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From Customer Complaints to Customer Contentment

 

Ari Weinzweigzena ZumetaThe program focuses on Zingerman’s Community of Businesses and its philosophies and Customer Complaint Process.  The businesses include the original business, Zingerman’s Delicatessen, plus Zingerman’s Bakehouse, Creamery, Catering, Mail Order, ZingTrain, Coffee Company, Roadhouse Restaurant, Candy Manufactory and the newest business—Events at Cornman Farms.  Zingerman’s produces and sells all sorts of full flavored, traditional foods in its home of Ann Arbor, Michigan to the tune of $50,000,000 a year in annual sales.  Effectively managing conflict has allowed Zingerman’s to grow from 2 employees to 700 over 33 years.  Like Apple Computers, Zingerman’s delights its customers with its food and its customer relations.  It has also been lauded by President Obama and others for its employee support, including its fair base salary, hours and benefits.  Zingerman’s philosophy of Servant Leadership, Energy Management, Going Direct and Handling Customer Complaints is at the core of its popularity and success.

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The Conflict Pivot: Turning Conflict into Peace of Mind



tammy-lenskizena ZumetaTracy CulbreathIf you’ve been told not to take conflict personally, you only have half the story. Before you can do that, you have to take conflict more personally. In this program, Tammy Lenski, author of The Conflict Pivot: Turning Conflict into Peace of Mind, will discuss three simple practices you can do on your own, anytime and anywhere, to avoid the most common conflict resolution mistakes, understand why certain conflicts get their hooks into you, and figure out how to liberate yourself.

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Separating Families: How to Use Online Technology to Mediate Your Situation

 

This program is part of Cyberweek 2015

Callum Campbellzena ZumetaPattie PorterFamily Resolve connects parents and partners with mediators using webcam-enabled online dispute resolution to bring mediation processes to separating families. Participants will learn how to use the internet with mediators to resolve family issues when there are distances between the parties, domestic violence issues involved or cost factors become a concern.

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Toxic Behaviors in the Workplace: Why? How? What?

 

 

Mitchell Kusy - Elizathbeth Hollowayzena ZumetaControl freaks, narcissists, manipulators, and bullies. It takes all kinds, they say, but can your organization afford to employ such toxic personalities? Often clever chameleons, who “kiss up” and “kick down,” they know how and when to disguise their infectiously bad natures. Like a disease, these employees spread negativity throughout the workplace, decreasing productivity and increasing turnover. In this program, Drs. Holloway and Kusy will share their national research study of toxic behaviors with over 400 participants. Learn why these individuals get away with bad behavior, how this occurs in organizations, and what to do about it to impact individual and team performance—and the bottom line.

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Courageous Conversations Between Parents and Their LGBTQ Children

 

Priscilla Fernandezzena ZumetaCourageous Conversations between parents and their LGBTQ children regardless of age. The coming out conversation can be extremely difficult on both sides. This program will look at some of the repercussions the LGBTQ person faces from the conversation, as well as the gains that are made. We will also look at resources available to LGBTQ people and their friends and families.

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Our Radio Program Family Grows

Posted on Jun 10 2015 under Blog Posts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

LaurenAndrewsPicOur global online radio program, The Texas Conflict Coach®, has grown to over 250,000 listens with over 250 podcasts on a myriad of conflict management topics. The podcast library is searchable and ready to listen, download and share.

We could not make this community outreach program available without our growing family. Today, we have three guest hosts: Zena Zumeta, Stephen Kotev, and our newest addition, Tracy Culbreath. We have our Executive Assistant, Shawn Tebbetts who is extraordinarily resourceful in making every guest a special part of our family. And finally, we have come to rely on our student interns who are responsible for research, blog posts, social media networks, community outreach, and special projects. Abigail Clark, who graduated with her Master’s in Negotiation and Conflict Management, decided to stay on as an Apprentice. We are excited she will continue to be part of our family.

And now, let me introduce to you our newest graduate student intern, Lauren Thompson Andrews. Lauren is currently enrolled in the Conflict Negotiation/Conflict Management Master’s Program at the University of Baltimore in Maryland. She’s a mother of two amazing children, a savvy entrepreneur and a long time student of the healing arts, Reiki II. With herbal and natural healing remedies passed down from her grandmothers, she’s used these ancient teachings and gifts to put her family on a path of wellness. She even started a consulting business with coaching people in wellness by sharing her healing wisdom and nature remedies. Speaking of gifts, Lauren has a natural gift for gab and has worked as a long time radio broadcaster for 15+ years. Now, Lauren is reintroducing herself to the world as a Conflict Coach by helping people get up when life knocks them down. She will help them keep going toward their goals and persevering against all odds. Lauren persevered and her message is, “You can too”!

Pattie Porter, Founder and Host

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The User-Friendly Divorce: Using Online Tools To Resolve Your Disputes

Dr Jin Ho Verdonschotzena ZumetaAll over the world, people think about divorce and do not know what to expect from the process, what they will have to arrange and how long it will take. This anxiety comes on top of the stress of the divorce itself, worries about the costs or accessibility. And the possible contentious relationship. Today, the rapid changes in technology makes accessing the justice system amenable to all regardless of where you live in the world. Our guest, Jin Ho Verdonschot from the Netherlands will discuss how one can get their reasonable and fair divorce using online technology throughout the entire dispute resolution process. He will discuss the pros and cons of a virtual mediation experience based on an online divorce project developed in the Netherlands. Dr. Verdonschot will also share how this technology can be used for other types of disputes involving your neighbor, landlord-tenant and employer-employee disputes.

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Theatre of Witness – Finding the Medicine in Stories of Suffering, Transformation and Peace

Teya Sepinuckzena ZumetaTheater of Witness is a form of performance in which the true life stories of people whose voices haven’t been heard in society are performed by the storytellers themselves as a way for audiences to bear witness to significant social issues. The theater productions are scripted from individual and group interviews as well as a variety of creative process techniques and consist of scripted text, music, movement, imagery and film projection. The productions are created with the performers who themselves have directly experienced the issues being explored. Theater of Witness invites audiences to put a face and heart to societal issues of suffering and to celebrate the power of the human spirit to grow and transform. Theater of Witness is a form of peace building and inspiration.

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