Posts Tagged ‘divorce’
How Blended Families Can Unite And Not Fight During The Holidays
According to recent statistics, almost 50% of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. Most divorced adults remarry and create blended families of yours, mine, and ours and include assorted, confused grandparents. Navigating the holidays can be stressful when arranging child custody agreements, table seating, and various cultural and religious beliefs among the families. Best-selling humor author Elaine Ambrose uses her own experiences to discuss how to focus on the joys of the season and prevent your blended family from exploding into a food fight.
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Resolving Financial Fights in Marriage and Divorce
Couples often have differences about finances in their marriages, and those differences become exacerbated in divorce. In this program, we will look at the issues in divorce financial planning, the emotional components of financial decision-making, and how couples can resolve financial differences in both marriage and divorce.
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You Thought Your Marriage Was Miserable- Wait Till You Get to Court…
The breakup of a marriage almost always involves some level of conflict between spouses, but the process of litigation during divorce ratchets that conflict up to a level of devastation for all members of the immediate and even extended family. Instead of getting away from the turmoil by divorcing, the adversarial nature of a legal “fight” can actually create permanent emotional and financial damage. If the goal of divorce is to stop the daily conflict, then the process should reduce that conflict while helping establish better relationships for the children and their parents. We will discuss how parents can create an emotionally supportive divorce that promotes a healthy relationship between themselves and a loving future for their children.
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What goes Wrong after “I Do”? – Tips on How to Not Become Apart of the 50 Percent
According to the American Psychological Association, “40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce.” Twelve weeks from now I will be getting married; therefore this statistic could be discouraging. My mother married once before my dad, and she often says, “No one enters into a marriage thinking they will get a divorce.” I have thought a lot this week about what having a good marriage means and why a couple might resort to divorce, and I compiled a list below.
- Communication- Majority of the reasons that I will provide for why couples divorce, all come back to communication. I learned in school that when people stop talking that is when the issues arise. People are not mind readers, so if a couple stops talking with one another, there is no way of knowing what their partner is thinking. Lack of communication is a breeding ground for conflict; therefore, I have always stressed open communication with my fiancé. We make a point to catch up on one another’s day, talk issues through, and constantly keep communication channels open.
- Trust- A lack of trust can destroy a relationship. While I recognize trust also requires a certain level of vulnerability, and if someone has hurt you in the past, this can be especially difficult. A marriage will only be successful if you trust your partner. I took a lot more time to trust than my fiancé because I was hurt in the past, but I found that once I allowed myself to be exposed, our relationship ran much smoother.
- Rushing- Many couples may get divorced because they rushed into marriage. Women worry about their biological clock, men may feel aging pressure as well. Couples do not take the time to get to know one another and take the position that they will figure it out as they go, which isn’t always the best route to take. Although, I’m sure there are exceptions. I think it is important to understand the person you are committing to and not shy away from the tough topics. When my fiancé and I say, “I do” we will have been dating eight years, we started when we were seventeen and eighteen. We essentially had to grow up together, and we each had to adjust to one another changing, as neither of us are the same people we were as teenagers.
- Expectations- Humans have expectations for people and their relationships. When a significant other, the relationship, or both, don’t live up to the hopes placed on them, things fall apart rather quickly. My fiancé and I have spent a lot of time discussing this topic. We both feel a way to avoid failing to live up to standards, is to be confident with who we are as individuals, and to check consistently in on one another’s needs and wants.
While there are more than four reasons why people may resort to divorce, these were the ones I thought to be the most important. My fiancé and I are not, like my mother said, entering into matrimony with divorce in mind. We are not even entering into marriage thinking it is an option. He and I have talked extensively on this topic, and we both established that should we start having issues we will continuously communicate and if need be, attend counseling. While it may seem as though we have a negative outlook, I think it is always best to have a game plan for future events that could occur.
Abigail Clark, M.S Negotiation and Conflict Management
Apprentice
Back to School Strategies for Divorced or Divorcing Parents
Often times, and without even knowing it, divorced or divorcing parents will put their own self-interests ahead of their children’s. Or fail to recognize the impact their divorce will have on the kids. This can kick off a dangerous cycle that may have long-lasting and far-reaching consequences for both children and parents alike.
Poor school performance, increased drug or alcohol use and an ever deteriorating relationship between the parties are just a few of the many significant downsides to not properly recognizing and addressing the impact divorce will have on your family.
So what can you do to effectively co-parent your children and make their return to school as seamless as possible? Especially if your divorce was finalized over the summer like many divorces are?
Join us as we speak with Joe and Cheryl Dillon, Co-Founders of Equitable Mediation Services, a national Divorce Mediation and Coaching firm that serves clients in 14 states. Having each been personally touched by divorce as both children and adults, Joe and Cheryl understand the impact divorce can have on families. They work together as a team, to take special care to put the needs of the client’s children first. And will share with you effective strategies divorcing parents need to implement in order to reduce the tension and potential conflict that may arise when co-parenting school-aged children.
Listener Challenge: Think about a typical week in the life of your school aged children and complete the planner. Review the helpful links for tools and ideas that can help you effectively co-parent your children and ease the transition from one house to two.
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Fido & Kitty: When Public and Private Venues Square Off-Part 2
During our series, esteemed leaders in law and dispute resolution Ms. Debra Hamilton of New York and Mr. Gary Norman of Maryland will discuss applying traditional as well as virtual Alternative Dispute Resolution tools in resolution of conflicts among people involving their animals. We will focus on everyday events that impact pet ownership including divorce, neighbor, kennel, groomer vet or dog walker/dog park issues and in particular conflicts involving service or assistive animals. The public, as well as practitioners in the legal or Alternative Dispute Resolution fields will learn the importance of having these difficult conversations in divorce, the neighborhood, the tavern, and the workplace involving animal related conflicts. Debra and Gary will explore how alternative dispute resolution methods, mediation or collaborative practice, help progress these difficult conversations towards resolution without litigation. In discussing the kinds of arenas where conflicts about animals may arise, our guests will address various legal issues that might be involved in the mediation of animal conflicts, including a two-part episode looking at issues implicated by the misuse of service animal status by the general public.
In this two-part episode, the co-speakers will discuss a hotbed arena where a myriad of conflicts continually arise involving the access of service animals in civil society.
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Fido & Kitty: When Public and Private Venues Square Off-Part 1
During our series, esteemed leaders in law and dispute resolution Ms. Debra Hamilton of New York and Mr. Gary Norman of Maryland will discuss applying traditional as well as virtual Alternative Dispute Resolution tools in resolution of conflicts among people involving their animals. We will focus on every day events that impact pet ownership including divorce, neighbor, kennel, groomer vet or dogwalker/dogpark issues and in particular conflicts involving service or assistive animals. The public as well as practitioners in the legal or Alternative Dispute Resolution fields will learn the importance of having these difficult conversations in divorce, the neighborhood, the tavern, and the workplace involving animal related conflicts. Debra and Gary will explore how alternative dispute resolution methods, mediation or collaborative practice, help progress these difficult conversations towards resolution without litigation. In discussing the kinds of arenas where conflicts about animals may arise, our guests will address various legal issues that might be involved at the mediation of animal conflicts, including a two-part episode looking at issues implicated by the misuse of service animal status by the general public. In this two-part episode, the co-speakers will discuss a hot bed arena where a myriad of conflicts continually arise involving the access of service animals in civil society.
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Another Arrow in Your Dispute Resolution Quiver: Animal Conflicts and Alternative Dispute Resolution
During our series, esteemed leaders in law and dispute resolution Ms. Debra Hamilton of New York and Mr. Gary Norman of Maryland will discuss applying traditional as well as virtual Alternative Dispute Resolution tools in resolution of conflicts among people involving their animals. We will focus on every day events that impact pet ownership including divorce, neighbor, kennel, groomer vet or dogwalker/dogpark issues and in particular conflicts involving service or assistive animals. The public as well as practitioners in the legal or Alternative Dispute Resolution fields will learn the importance of having these difficult conversations in divorce, the neighborhood, the tavern, and the workplace involving animal related conflicts. Debra and Gary will explore how alternative dispute resolution methods, mediation or collaborative practice, help progress these difficult conversations towards resolution without litigation. In discussing the kinds of arenas where conflicts about animals may arise, our guests will address various legal issues that might be involved at the mediation of animal conflicts, including a two-part episode looking at issues implicated by the misuse of service animal status by the general public.
In this episode, the co-speakers will introduce listeners to the subfield within Alternative Dispute Resolution of animal related conflicts. Debra Hamilton and Gary Norman will tell you the what, where and how to include animal related conflicts in to your practice and how you can use the full range of tools available to alternative dispute resolution practitioners to assist these parties find their own solution to such conflicts.
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Nipped in the Bud-Not in the Butt
The holidays are upon us along with the hustle, bustle and stress that come along with the various expectations, values and traditions we hold dear. You want to spend time with your family and friends which often requires traveling and visiting each other’s homes. But what if you want to bring your beloved pet with you…they are family members too…right? Or, if you have a gathering at your home, you would love it if everyone embraced your pet with love and care. When pet owners and non pet owners disagree about the inclusion of pets in holiday gatherings, then conflict can be lurking in the corner.
In our show, Nipped in the Bud – Not in the Butt, Debra Vey Voda-Hamilton will join me to discuss how she uses alternative dispute resolution in the emotionally charged venue of conflicts between people and animals. By using mediation and collaborative practice, clients become part of the solution process, not powerless bystanders. The process respects the emotions of the people in the conflict over an animal and recognizes the power emotions can have over the parties.
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Family Series: Is Divorce Mediation for You?
Are you going through a divorce, separation, or post-divorce conflict? Have you considered mediation? How can you tell if mediation is right for you? This show will explore what mediation is, who should consider mediation, and typical outcomes of mediation as opposed to litigated divorce and separation. The show will highlight benefits for children as well as for parents and take a special look at how mediation can help at holiday times.
Join us as we discuss with Zena Zumeta a lawyer and a former president of the Academy of Family Mediators. Internationally known as both a mediator and trainer of mediators, Zena is president of the Mediation Training & Consultation Institute, Zena Zumeta Mediation Services, and The Collaborative Workplace in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
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