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THE TEXAS CONFLICT COACH: CELEBRATING CHANGE AND DISCOVERING NEW PATHS

TCC Congrats CakeThis month, April 2017, marks the Texas Conflict Coach global radio program’s 8th anniversary. I have had the joy of meeting and learning from guest experts around the world; mentor graduate students from the University of Baltimore and Salisbury State University in Maryland; and work side-by-side with Hosts, Zena Zumeta, Stephen Kotev, Tracy Culbreath, and Abigail McManus. And finally, receiving the guidance from Advisory Board members Lou Geisel from Maryland Association of the Conflict Resolution Office (MACRO) and Cinnie Noble with CINERGY Coaching in Canada. Shawn Tebbetts, the Executive Assistant, proved to be invaluable to keeping all of us organized and working through the details.

Starting in May 2017, I am retooling and making program changes to provide more effective and valuable content to our listeners and viewers. During this transition, we will re-broadcast each month well-liked episodes straight from our archives, and we will produce live episodes, Conflict Chat: Ripped from the Headlines focused on discussing the current conflicts we read in the news. Abigail McManus, a guest blogger, along with me, will publish weekly blog posts focused on conflict management topics to help you reflect and apply concepts.

Periodically, we will host a special guest or event episode. You can access over 315+ podcasts on a variety of topics related to conflict management for families, workplace organizations, kids, and schools, neighbors, religious communities, etc. ANYTIME and ANYWHERE! You can listen and learn from a variety of sources including www.texasconflictcoach.com, our Texas Conflict Coach YouTube channel, or through iTunes, Stitcher Radio, FM Player, and Google Play.

This month, you can listen to my inaugural episode focused on what motivated me to begin this journey as well as what I have learned about engaging in interpersonal conflict in Being in Conflict: Lessons Learned from a Conflict Management Practitioner. Rose Gordon returns with Encouraging Restorative Community Conversations with the Comfort Zone, Discomfort Zone, and the Alarm Zone in Mind!

I want to extend a huge hug and share my appreciation for everyone’s support over the years. You might have been an avid listener, a guest, a fan or a supporter. Whatever your role, thank you for sharing in our success and our mission to educate the everyday person on how to embrace conflict constructively and courageously!

Stay tuned for future developments and new program content.

Pattie Porter

Founder and Host

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Being in Conflict: Lessons Learned from a Conflict Management Coach

 

Pattie8zena ZumetaConflict opportunities present itself in various ways. Often, we don’t notice the impact of seemingly unimportant off-putting comments we make to others or the disagreements which brew in our minds leading to something bigger than it is. The key is communication and checking our assumptions about each other’s motives and intentions instead of labeling, blaming and sitting in our hurt.

The Founder and Host of the Texas Conflict Coach®, Pattie Porter, chats with special guest host Zena Zumeta about the lessons learned in how to embrace conflict constructively, courageously and with compassion.

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Inaugural Show – My Story & Why I Got Started


Pattie8zena ZumetaGot Conflict? The Texas Conflict Coach®, a division of Conflict Connections, Inc. provides consumer education and tools to build self-awareness, skills, and resources to manage conflict effectively.

In this inaugural show, Pattie Porter connects with the audience by sharing her story of growing up in a high conflict family, and this led eventually to her work as a conflict management expert. Pattie sets the stage for future shows including the idea of giving fieldwork assignments.

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Renewing and Strengthening Relationships in the New Year

thanks-1804597_1920One of my favorite artists is singer Carly Simon. I was reintroduced to her again after many years of silence to listen to her new CD, Carly Simon – Songs from the Trees. One of my favorite songs “As Time Goes By” in her CD Coming Around Again has me reflecting on this past year’s relationships that wane or grow. We all have relationships with friends, family, co-workers, business partners, neighbors, and even our clients. How do you intentionally strengthen a relationship or acknowledge the friendship? Or is it time to say goodbye or let go of a relationship in the New Year?

In 2016, we mourned the loss of many musicians like Prince, David Bowie and now, George Michael. Or, the television “moms” like Florence Henderson and Doris Roberts and the “dads” like Alan Thicke. We are all still in shock over the loss of movie stars, Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds, a beloved mother, and daughter duo not to mention political figure and an American astronaut, John Glenn. Even in our family, we mourn the loss of my brother-in-law, Mark Porter, to a four-year battle with cancer. Relationships are precious, and yet we often take for granted our friendships with little acknowledgment or recognition of the small gifts people bestow on us daily. Small gifts came in many forms like that of laughter when you shared a funny story or a much-needed hug when you got disappointing news or the focus of a listening ear.

As you enter 2017, reflect and commit to being intentional on the small gifts you can provide to strengthen, honor and acknowledge those important relationships in your life. Here are some ideas to consider.

  • Give someone your focused and undivided time. Time is invaluable in today’s fast paced world and we don’t want to squander it. Relationships need quality nourishment, and that includes time to engage. This time could mean 30-45 minutes a week you actively listen to a friend who wants to share their news or concerns.
  • Say thank you or acknowledge someone. The words “thank you” goes a long way to recognizing and appreciating a relationship. When is the last time you said thank you to a client for their loyalty and referrals? Or, maybe “I appreciate you pitching in with the household chores and taking out the trash without being told.”
  • Write a note. I love sticky notes in all shapes and sizes. Simply write a message such as “I appreciate the extra time you spent today to finish this project by the deadline.” Or, “Amazing job!”
  • Make a phone call. Today, people mostly communicate via text and other written form primarily through social media. Make a phone call to someone you have not spoken to in a while and show that you care. If you are concerned about time, simply begin with “Hi! Theresa, we haven’t spoken for a long time. I miss you. Do you have about 30 minutes to chat and catch up?”
  • Schedule a visit. This visit might take a bit of coordination to put on your calendar, but schedule it, or it won’t get done. Think about the person in your life who could benefit the time with you. You might have an elderly family member in a nursing home who desperately seeks companionship, a neighbor who could use some assistance, or even a long-term client who would appreciate a deeper connection.

Let me add by acknowledging those that make the Texas Conflict Coach® radio program an ongoing community educational outreach program and for recognizing those who will be leaving and joining us in 2017.

First, Zena Zumeta, an internationally-recognized mediator, will leave us after guest hosting for six years. Wow! Time has gone by and so quickly.  Zena, a long-time friend, and colleague introduced the idea of being a guest host after I turned the mic over to her to interview me as a guest on the radio show. Since 2011, Zena was a great contributor, idea generator, and interviewer. Zena, we will miss you. We won’t say goodbye for good as we hope she will return for guest appearances and special interviews. From Texas with love and appreciation, Zena.

Secondly, Abigail McManus will join us as a permanent guest host in 2017. Abby has been with the Texas Conflict Coach® family first as a graduate student Intern, then as an Apprentice, and now, as a guest host. Abby is also a contributing blog writer as well as having launched her new blog, Pearls of Prudence. We are excited to see Abby grow and to be part of her career journey.

Dar Allen, voice over artist and actor, has been a fan and supporter of our educational work for years. A colleague and friend, Dar offers his fabulous voice to open and close each radio program episode in the New Year. Thank you, Dar, for being part of our team!

Finally, Tracy Culbreath King and Stephen Kotev continue as our special guest hosts in 2017. We could not continue this program without them, and especially without Shawn Tebbetts, our Executive Assistant, who keeps the wheels oiled and running behind the scenes. We want to extend our thanks and deep appreciation to our guests, from all over the world. They give of themselves and their time to educate our listening audiences. And, to you listeners, new and loyal followers who find value in our podcasts.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Pattie Porter

Founder and Host

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Conflict Chat: From Coconut to Closet Fights

 

Pattie8zena Zumetaclark.photo.Got Conflict? If you have a conflict with someone, and are not sure how to handle it, then let us know. Here is your opportunity to ask your question with Conflict Management experts who are mediators, conflict coaches and facilitators on how to think about, analyze or resolve your situation.

Think about it. Are you currently engaged in an active conflict with your co-workers or boss? Ignoring your neighbor because of a conversation you don’t want to have? In a disagreement with your spouse? Or simply afraid to bring up a concern with a friend in fear of stirring up problems.

 

 

Discussion Topics:

1.  The Massive Mango

2.  Chris Christie Offers a Key to Marital Success: Fight in a Walk-In Closet

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How Blended Families Can Unite And Not Fight During The Holidays

 

elaine-ambrosezena Zumeta According to recent statistics, almost 50% of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. Most divorced adults remarry and create blended families of yours, mine, and ours and include assorted, confused grandparents. Navigating the holidays can be stressful when arranging child custody agreements, table seating, and various cultural and religious beliefs among the families. Best-selling humor author Elaine Ambrose uses her own experiences to discuss how to focus on the joys of the season and prevent your blended family from exploding into a food fight.

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Resolving Financial Fights in Marriage and Divorce

 

pam-friedmanzena ZumetaCouples often have differences about finances in their marriages, and those differences become exacerbated in divorce.  In this program, we will look at the issues in divorce financial planning, the emotional components of financial decision-making, and how couples can resolve financial differences in both marriage and divorce.

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Graduate Student Stressors: Resolving Conflict and Meeting Expectations

Darlene R Johnsonzena Zumeta

 

 

 

 

 

 

The University of Michigan’s Rackham School of Graduate Studies has created a position of Resolution Officer which is responsible for assisting graduate students and faculty members who have issues and conflicts with each other to resolve those conflicts.  The Resolution Officer works directly with both faculty and students, and also facilitates conversations between them and mediates.  Her job includes counseling students about available options, supporting students through difficult situations, and connecting students to appropriate resources.            

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Managing Conflict in Your Blended Family

 

Marney and Kimzena ZumetaRaising children in a blended family can be challenging, frustrating, and overwhelming at times.  It can be a real test of endurance to manage to stay together through some of the tough times that can erupt with your stepchildren.  It can also be a time of growth and lasting relationships. Join Kim Abraham, Marney Studaker-Cordner and Zena Zumeta to hear how conflict is actually an opportunity to teach your children – step and biological – values and skills to last a lifetime.

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Restorative Justice is Good Medicine for Youth Violence

Rose Gordon(2)zena ZumetaJoin Rose Gordon and Zena Zumeta as they talk about what Restorative Justice and other Restorative processes are, how they work, why Restorative Justice is an effective intervention with youth who have engaged in violence and its impact on youth recidivism.

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