Mediation, Elder Abuse and Saving the Family: Mediation & Conflict Strategies to Avoid Elder Abuse

This is the 4th show segment in our elder care series.

As Americans are getting older, more and more issues arise relating to elder abuse in financial and health care settings.  Studies show that the majority of abuse occurs within the family.  What can be done to resolve these issues?  Talk with a respected elder abuse mediator and author, Steve Mehta,to address these difficult issues.

Here are strategies for avoiding elder abuse:

1) Be vigilant and watch for the early signs in your senior family member that might indicate “diminished capacity.” You can do this by…
a) Visiting your elderly family member more often especially if you do not live close by
b) Calling on a regular basis so as to prevent isolation from that senior member of the family
c) Talking to friends and family to get more information on how the elderly family member and caregiver are doing

2) Before making accusations about elder abuse or neglect, get knowledgeable about the situation and try to understanding what is happening
a) Don’t jump to conclusions or accusations
b) Try to understand from the caregiver’s perspective whether it be a sister, brother or other family member who lives day-in and day-out with the elder person

3) Change the words you use from “You should have” or “You did that” TO I-statements. Take ownership of your feelings and thinking by saying “I feel left out.” or “I think mom needs..” or “I believe…” This will prevent putting the other person on the defense.

4) Stop talking and LISTEN without interruption.

Steven G. Mehta is one of California’s premier award-winning attorney mediators thanks to his work in helping resolve disputes in a variety of types of civil litigation. Steve has been successfully mediating complex cases since 1999.  He is the author of the critically acclaimed book, 112 Ways to Succeed in Negotiation or Mediation.

For more information 112 Ways and Steve Mehta

Transforming Difficult Decision Making in Elder Care Planning

Join us for the 3rd episode in our Elder Care Series  We will be talking with Louise Phipps-Senft, Baltimore Mediation Center.

Families today are assuming responsibility for the informal care of over 75 percent of elderly family members and are often faced with difficult decisions from a bewildering array of choices:? e.g. estate planning, financial issues, and guardianship.? In the best of circumstances, this can be a stressful process and sometimes leads to disagreements, confusion, and conflict at a time when the best intentions of the family are to work together for the needs of a loved and respected aging family member. With the help of a trained professional mediator, family members share information and perspectives, explore and evaluate options, and develop workable solutions through a process that promotes open and positive communication.? The mediator is a neutral, who does not offer advice and believes that each family is unique and knows best what solutions will work for their family as a whole.? For families in conflict or simply wanting help through a transition elder care mediation offers a process which can reduce stress and prevent a crisis.

Louise Phipps Senft, an attorney, is the founder of the Baltimore Mediation/Louise Phipps Senft and Associates, the first trans-formative mediation firm in Maryland. She designed and continues to teach what was the first certificated mediation training course offered by the law school. Ms. Senft was voted “Baltimore’s Best” mediator, 2002 by Baltimore Magazine and named one of Maryland’s Top 100 Women for 2004, 2007 and 2009 by The Daily Record. She lectures extensively and was appointed by Chief Judge Robert Bell of the Court of Appeals to the Maryland ADR Commission and was later appointed as Chair of the first ADR Family Mediation Initiative for the State. Ms. Senft was the initiator, co-creator, lead trainer and supervisor for the Baltimore City Circuit Court Family Mediation Services Program.

Who’s in Charge-Managing Difficult Decisions Around A Parent’s Care

This 2nd episode continues our Elder Care Series that will extend through 9/23/09. When a family member needs help everyone has an idea of what is “best.” Many times, adult children are called upon in a crisis to help their parents make some decisions about their care. The family and the senior have to decide the senior may need. The differing options of care (how much, what type, and how it will be funded) can cause conflict within the family. Geriatric Care Managers are often called upon to help negotiate these very difficult decisions.
Byron Cordes received a Masters in Social Work from Worden School of Social Services at Our Lady of the Lake University and a Bachelor of Science in Psychology from Oklahoma State University. He has worked for twenty years in the social work field; background includes medical social work/case management and clinical work with geriatrics.
Byron is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in the state of Texas. He also holds an Advanced Certification in Social Work Case Management from the National Association of Social Workers. He has served as an Assistant Professor at Our Lady of the Lake University in San Antonio, and continues to teach, as adjunct faculty, policy and practice courses at both the undergraduate and graduate levels. Byron has had his writings published on geriatrics and caregiving. He currently owns and operates a Professional Geriatric Care Management agency, SAGE Care Management, providing case management, outreach and support to seniors. He serves on the National Board of the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers and is past-president for the South Central Chapter. He is a member of the American Society on Aging and the National Association of Social Workers. Byron has been married for twenty years, and has one daughter. He is active with several local community organizations including his church.

New Horizon in Family Mediation…Elder Care

Join us for the Special Elder Care Series. In this first episode, we will talk with Barbara Manousso of Manousso Mediation. We will have 4 episodes extending through September with a number of guests talk about elder and adult care conflict between families and the love ones they take care of. Conflict over important decisions about how mom or dad will be cared for abound in many families. Listen as we invite conflict resolution experts in the elder care arena talk about their experiences along with resources, tools and strategies.

Barbara Sunderland Manousso, Ph.D, M.P.H., a national and Texas certified guardian and TMCA Texas Credentialed Distinguished Mediator, has been a mediator and trainer since 1993, and is certified as a Texas long-term care ombudsman and conflict coach. She has published articles on elder care mediation and guardianship, and is a popular international lecturer on elder & adult care. She serves at the pleasure of the Texas governor on the statewide Nursing Facility Administrators Advocacy Commission. She is a worldwide leader in elder care mediation.