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• So You Are Going to Mediation – How Do You Prepare?

  

  In an earlier show So You Need to Mediate…HELP…Now What?, we discussed what mediation is, the benefits and values to you as a party in a dispute, the questions to consider when finding a mediator and whether to hire a private mediator or use a community-based mediator. Now that you have decided to go to mediation, what do you need to do to prepare? Why is it important to prepare for these difficult conversations, and what do you need to consider when going into the mediation so that it is the most productive, constructive and has the greatest potential for success for you and the other side. Read, Listen, Share »

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Recent Blog Posts

• When Silence Can Be the Key to Listening Deeply

  In today’s world, when are we not stressed out by things that happen in our everyday life? Do you find yourself feeling anxious reflecting on the important conversations you need to have but can’t because of the stress? Are there times when your stress levels prevent you from concentrating and listening to others? For many of us, the bad economy has positioned us to be on full-time stress alert taking our attention away from the things that matter most…our families, relationships, and our own health. Right now, people need to feel heard and understood; and yet, the overwhelming stress can prevent us from being effective listeners.
  When you are not an effective listener there are things that you miss out on. Sometimes those things can be as significant as missing the time schedule to pick up your kids up from school to your work deadline for a special project. Either way becoming an effective listener can be difficult and takes lots of work especially in times of stress.
  I know this from personal experience. My child’s father and I found it real difficult to listen to each other when it came to discussing matters about our daughter. There were times I felt he would hear the first ten minutes of the conversation and block out the last twenty minutes. This would cause us to bump heads on every decision that was needed to be made for our daughter. As time progressed, we both realized it wasn’t the fact that we could not talk to each other, but the fact that we were not listening to each other.

  We all participate in selective hearing, and it can cause us to miss out on important things. If you would like to know more about learning different techniques to become an effective listener, listen to The New Trend in Listening: How to Improve Your Communication Skills and Enrich Relationships with Susan Young, President of Get In Front Communications.

  Authored by Andrea Williams
  Graduate Student Intern

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• Learning to Cope with your Crazy Family

  Do you love your family, but you just can’t deal with them on a regular basis? Do you wish that family gatherings would be filled with fun and laughter, instead of arguments? Summer will soon be approaching, which means barbeques, family reunions, and plain old get- togethers with our families. Many of us love our family, but don’t like spending time with them due to the drama it creates. Loving your family at a distance is hard to do especially when you want more out of the relationship.

  Coming from a huge family myself, I can understand the issues and or conflict that are surrounded by families coming together. It’s always the old aunt or grandmother that makes a comment out loud that’s supposed to be the family secret. Or that one nosey cousin that creates drama by asking everyone’s business. Trust me! I understand your pain. I go through it too, but there are ways to control the situation without letting it escalate to conflict. There are techniques you can learn to help you approach family conflict calmly, and effectively. Leaning new ways to approach family conflict during gatherings will help create a new and loving relationship with your family, and make you appreciate and enjoy your time with them.

  If you would like to know more listen to Overcoming Conflict at Family Gatherings to find out further information with Janet Bonnin of Fine Tuned Families. In this podcast she teaches you how to cope with family conflict at gatherings.

  By Andrea Williams

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• How Mediation Can Help Church Congregations in Conflict

  People usually go to church when they feel their lives are troublesome. Many believe that going to church will relieve them from their everyday stress, and can be the only place in the world where they can void conflict. So, what happens when people stop being polite and start acting real? Well in the case of church congregation conflict happens all the time. Whenever there are multiple personalities, issues will always arise.

  Many of us would think that church congregations do not deal with personality clashes because they have God on their side. Coming from a church background myself, I know for a fact that the statement above is false. Growing up in a Baptist Church, people always clashed with each other on many different topics. The arguments can range from what color to wear for the church anniversary, to who get to sing the lead solo for Easter Sunday. People in church always found something to argue about.

  When conflict rears its ugly head within church congregations due to the clash of values and beliefs, congregants believe they do not need outside help. They generally turn to their strong faith to give them guidance in dealing with the tensions. However, many “true believers” will find themselves in very polarizing and positional situations and having an outside third party neutral could be critical to turning things around.

  So, what happens when you mediate with true believers? If you would like to know more listen to Mediating with True Believers to understand how and why church conflicts arise, and when conflict presents itself in the church, what to do about it.

  By Andrea Williams

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